The actual title of Day 2 asks why I decided to start blogging. But really the story goes back even further than just blogging about WoW. In the earlier days of the internet, way back when (and some of you may be too young to even know when this was!), there wasn’t actually a lot of interaction outside of forums, and BBS‘, and making really bad geocities webpages that you updated manually to share pictures of your college campus and tell people what you did (usually with dancing gif background). It was a different kind of internet. I remember being bored one day, so I thought I would try to see if bored.com (which was, then, nothing compared to what it is today). On the site was a link to a place called opendiary.com and so, my curiosity piqued, I clicked the link.
Blogging then was a very different beast than it is today. I wrote vague entries of my life and feelings. I was angsty and childish, but introspective and reflective. I wrote about the things that I felt were important in my life, but also those things that were trivial and dumb. It was about me, then. I treated it as though it were actually a diary for me to reflect on one day. I met my Bestie through the site. I also found myself a boyfriend and many other friends. Most of whom I don’t speak to, but thankfully, my Bestie stuck it out and we’re amazing friends today, despite the many miles between us.
Over the years, there was this transition in the types of things people wrote about. The internet changed. Blogging changed. What people wrote about changed. It became scary to tell people who you were, but once the information was out there, that was it, it was out there. I was actually let go from a job because of the things I was writing on the internet. So many years ago… so many.
When I started playing WoW, blogging was a different world. People wrote about boss strats, how to handle different dungeons, where to walk or run, the fastest way to level professions, and theorycrafting. I always felt that I could be funny, in a way that I feel Aldous is funny. I wanted to write about my adventures in Azeroth, but I knew that I may never be a huge name, and at the time I was okay with that. Then the ranks of Apotheosis started to fill more and more with bloggers. And this isn’t even considering the current bloggers that were already there (like Kurn and O). I suddenly felt that I needed to discuss and talk about similar things. That my ridiculous Lol-dragons were suddenly childish and stupid.
It’s difficult to bring yourself back from a place where you think you need to provide a certain level of content in order to not affect the readership of others. I felt like it was my responsibility to write better entries because it might reflect poorly against the others if I wrote stupid things and captioned dragons like an idiot.
The realization that what I write isn’t about how it reflects on others, but how it reflects on me was a long road I’m glad I traveled down. I had to do a lot of self-reflection in order to reach that point. I also needed to learn how to manage my time better in all areas of my life. It’s not about always writing amazing things as much as it is about writing things that I like and care about. There is likely to be someone somewhere that will like what I have to say. And I’ve accepted that for everyone one person who likes what I write, there will be a troupe of people who don’t. I needed to deal with the emotional attachment involved with writing to just… let go.
So why am I writing now? Because I feel like there’s something worth sharing. I feel like there are stories I want to remember. I want to let people know that WoW isn’t always filled with the assholes and douche bags we see so prevalent out there. But there are people who are totally worth playing the game with. Blizzard finally made it possible for me to be able to play the game with people I like, who’s company I enjoy, and who’s personalities don’t clash with my own… and I want to tell those stories.
So here I am… and this is my story.